Ringing

I just caught the last 1/2 - 3/4 of that new Wall Street movie on HBO and I can't help repeat this quote over and over in my head.


"It's different now. We're supposed to make each other feel safe and if we don't then what's the point?"

Hmmmmm.....

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Update:
I was watching the movie Eat. Pray. Love last night as I was falling asleep. I've only seen it 1-2 times and I really liked it but it's been awhile. I laid there thinking now this is a movie that I could actually watch REPEATEDLY, if you know me I don't like watching movies I've already seen.
So I'm in my room since 7 after I laid Jayden down and was actually relaxing. I wasn't cleaning, even though there was laundry to be put away at the end of our bed. Laundry to be washed, get ready for our trip Sat, etc. I just laid there. Extremely rare event for me. I was waiting on my Tiger's yogurt request from Dj running an errand. After he came home he was hooking up his PS3 that I got him for our Anniversary in the living room. So I found another movie to watch.....
Have you seen this movie??? When she is in India and she's talking to Richard he tells her you can't leave this place until you forgive yourself. I lost it. That movie isn't just a chill, non-thinking type of movie. Everything about it is "soul searching" so to speak. So then I start to think and reflect. Which can be dangerous at times.
My stomach had been hurting all freaking day, I hadn't eaten anything but a bagel at 10am and a lil bit of chicken and rice when I got home. I picked up Jayden from daycare and came in the kitchen to make dinner. All of a sudden I felt light headed and knew I needed to eat STAT. I opened some applesauce and thankfully Dj was coming home as I was defrosting the chicken and attempting to start the rice. I needed to sit down. Jayden was in his highchair snacking.
Well having Dj take over perhaps wasn't the greatest idea. He can get flustered and was already hot/sweaty and irritated from work. He came home showing me what he bought me for our anniversary (I told him to get something for Lily since I don't need anything). I was not able to focus at that moment which disappointed him. Adding to his frustration. I eventually come sit down with Jayden in the living room and I hear a big "sizzle" he was trying to take out the chicken dish and dropped it resulting with it hitting the bottom of the oven and him burning his hand. At this point im more irritated than concerned because if he would have just slowed down and pulled out a proper oven mit or even took the time to get a towel it wouldn't have happened. So now he's pissed. Half acting like a joking diva but half serious. I didn't react.
So the evening was already started out rough....
Which ended up being fine.
Yet when laying in bed, alone, like normal because he's never home. I realize I just bought him a PS3. LOL. He deserves to have his fun but damn. I never see him as it is working 120+ hours a pay period and now he's going to want to unwind playing his game. Phooey.
So my tears were an accumulation of a rough night, missing someone severely, feeling like I have no friends and my husband being MIA. I seriously hate when I have to put Jayden to bed sometimes because I feel like he's my only constant in my life.....
Perhaps this stupid stomach ache is just stress related? I've lost my appetite, I can't eat.
But you better believe I am going to be eating a caramel apple today. Can't guarantee that it will be just one. ..