Friday, July 26, 2013


It's been a long time since I've blogged. I've been thinking about doing this for MONTHS. Why does life get so busy that you start to lose the ability to do the things that you love to do? I love to journal, travel, listen to my music loudly, sleep in on Saturdays, go to the bathroom alone and watch what I want to on TV. Sound simple enough? Not anymore. I have 3yr old and a 20mo. I THINK about journaling ALL the time. But never find the time to do it. I used to be able travel spontaneously quite often, now I tote 2 small children limiting the distance and funds to do what I actually would love to do. Camping isn't possible yet. There's no way that I want to pack up my entire house to be able to function in a non baby proof enviornment. Granted we are no longer on the 2 hr window of napping. Yet, when they are little they still just require so much! I CANT wait to start vacationing with them....then's also the time off, the expenses, funding the trip that will be the make or break. I used to be able to listen to music while I cleaned the house. I still can, to a certain volume, but I have to clean and watch and entertain two little ones all at the same time. Circus? Why yes, that's exactly what it feel like at times. And what's the big hype about it being the weekend when you are a parent?? You don't get to sleep in anymore. You might get to squeeze in a nap if your husband is actually home vs work on the weekends but even then it's been a fat chance. I have an audience when I go to the bathroom. Really, do they really need to WATCH your every move....?? Sigh...teaching privacy....LOL. And I'm pretty sure I can recite every show that airs on Nick Jr. LOL

My life has definitely changed...even 3 yrs later I'm still adjusting. BUT I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING. I love how my kids run up to me when I come home and yell "Mommy you're home! All done with work?" Yes honey, I'm all done. Lily clings to both my legs like the "Mommy wow, I'm a big kid now" commercial. :) She's talking more and more. My life is far from perfect, but it's my perfect. My husband is amazing. He's an incredible daddy to our children, provides, protects, supports, cherishes, loves all of us and we are always number one to him and it shows. My little world is chaotic, frustrating, stressful, hard, challenging and exhausting. Yet, I can't think of one single thing that would make me happier. Well of course we all wish for more money. But I have what money can't buy. Happiness, Family and Unconditional love! What else could you ask for?

I had some girl time tonight hanging out with my friend Kacie. We had a great time, ordered a pitcher of margaritas, that's right pitcher! Split some fajitas and when I tell you we were stuffed we were stufffffffed! I haven't felt that full in months!!! I never have the luxury to eat that long nor not share my meal. LOL. :)

Friday, March 29, 2013


Well here I sit in the OR waiting room waiting for the Doctor to come tell me how Dj's surgery went. This wasn't on my agenda...

At 3:00am Thur morning Dj awoke from a dead sleep with excruciating pain. He got up wasn't sure what he was doing but he didn't wake me...yet. He woke me to tell me that something was really wrong. He started rocking on his knees on our bed and started to cry. Waking up to this I was a little paralyzed and not entirely sure what to do or how to respond. Of course, I initially am a little irritated because I am so freaking exhausted and if it's not Lily waking me up now it's my husband. I asked him, "Do you think Motrin or norco will help?" He informed me that he had already taken a norco because he had just been seen at Urgent care less than 8hrs prior for his wrist inflammation that occurred again. He needed more pain meds and decided to be seen. I already harped on him for not getting a referral to the specialist and making an appointment There was nothing that his PCP or Urgent Care could do for him.

Now I'm looking at him and he is in excruciating pain. I told him if his pain level is that bad then he should go to the ER. He decides that is a good idea. Accept our two babies are asleep and I can't drive him. He was going to attempt to drive himself, made it to the driveway and came back inside. Came to our room and told me that he called 9-1-1 and the ambulance was on it's way. I was so shocked that this had escalated to a 9-1-1 status I again was paralyzed not sure what to do next. I had already just got up with Lily an hour prior and put her back down.

I got out of bed and was standing by the door waiting with him for the paramedics to arrive. He leaned against the wall and started moaning and crying. I of course was not so compassionate. At that moment I told him, "If you wake up Lily so help me God". In retrospect, perhaps that was inappropriate. In fact, I know it was but I couldn't help it. It was hard for me to understand what he was going through, what was happening and if his pain level was in fact that high to be transported by ambulance to the ED.

We see the lights from the Fire truck & ambulance coming down our street. He jokingly said, "Really? They sent a fire truck?" We walk outside to avoid any commotion in the house with the kids asleep. He made it to my Jeep and bent over on the hood and couldn't walk. The paramedics & firemen came up the driveway and I informed them of what was going on. They whisked him away in the ambulance and it was back to bed I go to try and get a little more sleep before what was to come the next day.

I finally fell back asleep and Lily woke up about 730. I checked my phone and all I had was one text from Dj saying "waiting to see what surgeon says". My first thought, surgery? What the heck?! Jayden starts yelling just cause he can. Good Morning my children. I get them up and start getting us all ready, call Nadia to ask if I can drop the kids off early so I can get over to the hospital to check on Dj.

Got kids dropped of shortly after 8. Called my mom to let her know. Was on my way to the hospital....

I get there just as the Physician is talking to Dj. Perfect.

CT scan= appendicitis

He's having surgery today.

Long story short. (shorter) He spent 12 hrs in the ED and went straight to the OR from there. His surgery was 1hr 20min after we were told probably about 30min. After waiting 3 hrs the Surgeon finally called me, by phone, apparently she didn't know there was family waiting. Bullshit. All that matters is that it went well, he did fine and he would be recovering 1-3 days.

After getting him settled I left and came home about 8pm. Got Jayden to bed about 9:15. Lily woke up at 10pm she was hungry. Woke up at 5am she was wet. Up and at em by 7. Got the kids ready, went and got a cup of coffee and gassed up the truck. Waited for my mom to come stay with the kids and back to the hospital I went.

Based on conversations I was expecting to take him home with me but that was not the case. He is still suffering from gad pain and can not switch to oral pain meds just yet so he is still on IV pain therapy. He's up and walking which is good. They removed his appendix laparoscopically.
In order to do this they had to fill up his belly with air and that's why he has such severe gas pain. Everyone I talked to said it's the most painful part until he passes it all. I never thought I would be so happy to hear the man fart and burp. But that means less internally which means less pain.

I left him again for the night at 5 headed home to the kiddos. Time to clean up and get ready for his homecoming tomorrow. My mom already did an amazing job helping me pick up the house and take care of the kids. I don't know what I would have done with out here. It helped so much to be able to leave them and know they were fine.

The real challenge is ahead of me as I try and take care of Dj once he's home keeping his pain levels under control and juggling a 1 & 3yr old and keep them OFF their daddy that they miss so much.

One more night solo then let the fun begin!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Mixed emotions

Only in the last hour I've been able to wind down. Lily woke back up Jayden just went down late. Turned on some tv saw something sad and let the water works begin. I think after last night and being so tiring mentally, emotionally and physically my body is tense, my shoulders aches, I never catch enough sleep and I'm now in an indescribable mode. I can't rest, I can't relax, work is tense and I need an outlet. For now I guess that is wine and blogging. Thankful 1/2 way through the week!!