Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I'd try to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I'd try to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Dreading going back to work
I really really really really wish I could stay home with my baby until at least Kindergarten. LOL. Get real? Ok the 1st year? I'm so so so sad about having to get back into the grind I just don't want to leave my baby! It seriously makes me want to cry. I love him so much. How do working moms do it? And all you stay at home moms are SO FREAKING LUCKY YOU HAVE NO CLUE! Man I wish I could be a stay at home mommy. ugh. Oh well, it is what it is.
On another sad note, my FAVORITE down comforter that I have had for 10yrs now has a tear! I have no idea how that even happened! Therefore, I'm blaming it on my cats. lol. Seriously, a tear like an "L" shape, how in the world?? Not like my toe poked a hole.
Bright side? Tomorrow's date night at the IMAX theater Toy Story 3 in 3D! WAHOO!
On another sad note, my FAVORITE down comforter that I have had for 10yrs now has a tear! I have no idea how that even happened! Therefore, I'm blaming it on my cats. lol. Seriously, a tear like an "L" shape, how in the world?? Not like my toe poked a hole.
Bright side? Tomorrow's date night at the IMAX theater Toy Story 3 in 3D! WAHOO!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tid bits
I got a new phone, HTC HD2!! I am loving it!! Gotta figure everything out again but mainly got it so I can take better pictures and VIDEO of Jayden!! =)
Father's Day is coming up and I can't wait to give Dj his present! hehe. It's a very thoughtful gift and he better like it! LOL
Going to see Mindi this weekend! YAY Another roadtrip!
Date night on Saturday! Toy Story 3 at the IMAX in 3D YAY
Tomorrow is Friday!! TGIF!!!
Father's Day is coming up and I can't wait to give Dj his present! hehe. It's a very thoughtful gift and he better like it! LOL
Going to see Mindi this weekend! YAY Another roadtrip!
Date night on Saturday! Toy Story 3 at the IMAX in 3D YAY
Tomorrow is Friday!! TGIF!!!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Troubled Heart
I don't know why (kinda do) but I've been a little sad on the friend front. I love my life and it's definitely has a perfect view, yet I find myself lonely. Being home with Jayden has been the best experience ever and I wouldn't trade it for the world, yet I don't have many girlfriends to call up and go hang out with. Yes, I just went out on a date with an old friend, but that hasn't happened in a looooong time. I can't even remember the last time we hung out.
My best friend lives in San Diego, and my other two good friends are also in San Diego and Palmdale.
Brieanna has her cousin visiting so I don't want to bother her with calling her like I have been for the past several weeks. It's almost a ritual & routine we created by texting each other good morning when we wake up. Sharing a cup of coffee over the phone, calling each other later in the morning/afternoon as I listen to the twins babble and talk like big girls (they're 2). Then again in the late afternoon/evening and saying goodnight before we go to bed. I miss that, not only because it kept me company but because I miss her so much. I want to talk to her but I also feel like I have nothing to say other than the news of Jayden. So with her cousin visiting for 3 weeks I don't call. I try not to text, knowing she is busy doing her own thing. I'll be going back to work soon and I'm sure I will speak to her less as well. God I don't want to go back to work.
Roseanna works nights and has a different schedule, I'm used to not talking to her frequently it's kind of the norm when she moves away although we speak sparatically we pick up right where we left off when she left, and I'm ok with that.
Julianna and I keep in touch from time to time even when she was still downtown. We just have our own lives. We both enjoy spending our time as we prefer to. Which she was the bar type and I'm over that scene. I know she was more homebound when she still lived here yet I didn't take the opportunity when it was available. She's much more social and I, we enjoy the same things yet I'm always second guessing the concert in the park, time at the river, brewfest type of things (even though I enjoy myself when I go I have kind have grooved myself into more low key events).
Not to mention my lil sis Tess being in Washington, boo!
I love them all very much, it sucks having my first baby and not being able to share him with my best friends.
I miss them all very much.
My best friend lives in San Diego, and my other two good friends are also in San Diego and Palmdale.
Brieanna has her cousin visiting so I don't want to bother her with calling her like I have been for the past several weeks. It's almost a ritual & routine we created by texting each other good morning when we wake up. Sharing a cup of coffee over the phone, calling each other later in the morning/afternoon as I listen to the twins babble and talk like big girls (they're 2). Then again in the late afternoon/evening and saying goodnight before we go to bed. I miss that, not only because it kept me company but because I miss her so much. I want to talk to her but I also feel like I have nothing to say other than the news of Jayden. So with her cousin visiting for 3 weeks I don't call. I try not to text, knowing she is busy doing her own thing. I'll be going back to work soon and I'm sure I will speak to her less as well. God I don't want to go back to work.
Roseanna works nights and has a different schedule, I'm used to not talking to her frequently it's kind of the norm when she moves away although we speak sparatically we pick up right where we left off when she left, and I'm ok with that.
Julianna and I keep in touch from time to time even when she was still downtown. We just have our own lives. We both enjoy spending our time as we prefer to. Which she was the bar type and I'm over that scene. I know she was more homebound when she still lived here yet I didn't take the opportunity when it was available. She's much more social and I, we enjoy the same things yet I'm always second guessing the concert in the park, time at the river, brewfest type of things (even though I enjoy myself when I go I have kind have grooved myself into more low key events).
Not to mention my lil sis Tess being in Washington, boo!
I love them all very much, it sucks having my first baby and not being able to share him with my best friends.
I miss them all very much.
Girls night out
I went out on a date with Angelica this afternoon. We went to On the Border for some margaritas and then to see Sex in the City 2. It was good despite the reviews I had been hearing, and yes it was long (3hrs)! Had a great time.
It was Dj's first time being home alone with Jayden. He did great, I knew he would. I didn't have any doubts, he is a great daddy. Gave him a bath, bottle and to bed (but didn't stay asleep), I was ok with that because I wanted to see my lil guy. He slept ALL day! He slept from 1030 until 430! Growth spurt?
Needless to say we all had a great day!
It was Dj's first time being home alone with Jayden. He did great, I knew he would. I didn't have any doubts, he is a great daddy. Gave him a bath, bottle and to bed (but didn't stay asleep), I was ok with that because I wanted to see my lil guy. He slept ALL day! He slept from 1030 until 430! Growth spurt?
Needless to say we all had a great day!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Mommy time
I got to hang out with my mom last night it was really nice to see her, it's been over a week. It's rare that we don't see each other at least once a week. But she's has had a CRAZY time a work lately. Crazy patients acting stupid, and she's gotta deal with it being the manager and all. blah. no fun.
I laid Jayden down for a nap on my old bed in my old room it was kinda funny how I stared at him and thought back to when I was living in that room 4 yrs ago since I was 10. I remember the carpet was dark brown when we moved in and all I had with me that wasn't packed was my babysitter's club books. My room is basically a square with an L shape added to it & there was this little cove that I went to when I claimed "my room" spreading out the 5 books I carried in my hand. So funny the things you remember growing up.
Anyway, I took the opportunity to go get a pedicure, finally!! Felt soooooo good. =) When I came back my mom and I were sitting on the couch saying, "I hope Jayden wakes up soon it would be nice to go out to dinner" and right on que he woke up! lol. YAY. Fed him and changed him and off we went to on the border! YUMMMMMMM!! Love that place, I think I have a new fav (old one was chevy's). Their menu is so big, they have so many yummy sounding options. lol.
Dinner was nice, my dad showed up too and then we came home and took a stroll around the block. Being that it was already a quarter to 9 we didn't go far and I came home and fed him changed him again and hit the road. =) He fell asleep in the car, I brought him straight into his room and tried transfering from carseat to crib with no success. He was up until 1045, fell asleep hard on Dj, he rocked him it was so cute I wanted to take a picture but I knew I'd wake him up with the flash (it was dark).
Dj and I got some alone time.... =) he went to bed at 9 but i woke him up when i came home at 10 not on purpose just with jayden not goin down...he helped and we went to bed. he slept til 245 i took 1st shift and then he woke up at 645 (!) and dj took 2nd shift. I tried sleeping in but i heard him crying a little bit (prob changing his diaper when he wanted to eat) then it got hot real fast in our room. i did wake up at 10 but it was WARM already!!! geez. we need a pool, maybe our next house?
we are thinking about moving to elk grove this fall....we'll see what's in store closer to. our lease is up in aug so we'll see. hard to believe we will have been here a year already in aug!!
I laid Jayden down for a nap on my old bed in my old room it was kinda funny how I stared at him and thought back to when I was living in that room 4 yrs ago since I was 10. I remember the carpet was dark brown when we moved in and all I had with me that wasn't packed was my babysitter's club books. My room is basically a square with an L shape added to it & there was this little cove that I went to when I claimed "my room" spreading out the 5 books I carried in my hand. So funny the things you remember growing up.
Anyway, I took the opportunity to go get a pedicure, finally!! Felt soooooo good. =) When I came back my mom and I were sitting on the couch saying, "I hope Jayden wakes up soon it would be nice to go out to dinner" and right on que he woke up! lol. YAY. Fed him and changed him and off we went to on the border! YUMMMMMMM!! Love that place, I think I have a new fav (old one was chevy's). Their menu is so big, they have so many yummy sounding options. lol.
Dinner was nice, my dad showed up too and then we came home and took a stroll around the block. Being that it was already a quarter to 9 we didn't go far and I came home and fed him changed him again and hit the road. =) He fell asleep in the car, I brought him straight into his room and tried transfering from carseat to crib with no success. He was up until 1045, fell asleep hard on Dj, he rocked him it was so cute I wanted to take a picture but I knew I'd wake him up with the flash (it was dark).
Dj and I got some alone time.... =) he went to bed at 9 but i woke him up when i came home at 10 not on purpose just with jayden not goin down...he helped and we went to bed. he slept til 245 i took 1st shift and then he woke up at 645 (!) and dj took 2nd shift. I tried sleeping in but i heard him crying a little bit (prob changing his diaper when he wanted to eat) then it got hot real fast in our room. i did wake up at 10 but it was WARM already!!! geez. we need a pool, maybe our next house?
we are thinking about moving to elk grove this fall....we'll see what's in store closer to. our lease is up in aug so we'll see. hard to believe we will have been here a year already in aug!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Pondering thoughts
Well, after an AMAZING weekend Jayden definitely had an OFF day on Tuesday. He was awake 530am-12! Sheesh that boy wouldn't go down. I'm still hesitant in allowing the crying out method so young. He's only 2 1/2 mo old. His doctor said he's the boss on when he wants to sleep until 4mo. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I shouldn't try harder to get him down when he's fighting it, I know he needs it. Anyway, I went over to my cousin's to get some assistance so I could run a few important errands (rent due) and she seems to have a magic shoulder. Jayden was with him 20 min and passed out (thats after he finally took a 3hr nap before we arrived). I went to rite aid, the bank & the grocery store. Came back and unloaded my groceries then went and picked up my lil chunk.
Today he had a great day! I started getting a lil apprehensive when it was 10am and he had been up since 6 fearing another repeat of yesterday. But I put him in his crib before he was OVER tired and decided to try and let him work it out. He wasn't mad, he cried for 2min flat and was OUT. I'm thinking dang why didn't I try that yesterday? Oh wait, I did and he SCREAMED! Couldn't allow that so I didn't continue. He took a nap today from 10-1:30 and 3-5 and went to bed at 9. =)
Dj came home in the best timing because I was trying to juggle preparing dinner & BBQ with bath, bottle and bed. I got to the bottle part and he walked in the door, I said perfect you feed him cause the grill has been ready for almost an hr now! haha. He fed him and was going down, I guess jayden did something funny cause dj laughed (Trying not to and made even more of a noise) and woke him up! lol. butthead!
So we went for a walk. =) We finally met our across the street neighbors, Jason & Katie(that now have a for rent sign in their front yard), they have a 5mo old girl, I didn't catch her name. We talked for a few, very nice couple and was disappointed that they were leaving. Jason's job is moving them to Michigan next week! He's a pediatrican in residency and she's a pediatric nurse. haha. They we're really nice and I wish they were staying.....made me think that Dj and I should find more couples with babies to hang out with....we have no couple friends....just "his and hers", which is fine, it would just be nice to have a common "interest" =)
I'm debating whether to open up the house or not...it's been so warm but I think it's cooled off now.... man I hate summer. =( I'm not a fan of the heat. Spring and fall are my FAV.
Should I...or should I not go to bed...not too tired. Wish our computer worked better (it's slow cause it recognizes that we don't have genuine windows 7 so its so slooooow), I could try and fix my pics. It's too much of a hassle trying to save my pics from facebook to my work laptop and then reposting them on the blog. ah well.
Tomorrow is Thursday, yipee.......fast week!
Sunday i'm going out with an old friend to lunch and a movie,.we're going to see Sex in the City 2, despite what reviews i've heard about it I still wanna see it. =) It will be Dj's first time alone with Jayden (for more than 30 min like a trip to the store). He's ready. =)......I think...haha jk
Today he had a great day! I started getting a lil apprehensive when it was 10am and he had been up since 6 fearing another repeat of yesterday. But I put him in his crib before he was OVER tired and decided to try and let him work it out. He wasn't mad, he cried for 2min flat and was OUT. I'm thinking dang why didn't I try that yesterday? Oh wait, I did and he SCREAMED! Couldn't allow that so I didn't continue. He took a nap today from 10-1:30 and 3-5 and went to bed at 9. =)
Dj came home in the best timing because I was trying to juggle preparing dinner & BBQ with bath, bottle and bed. I got to the bottle part and he walked in the door, I said perfect you feed him cause the grill has been ready for almost an hr now! haha. He fed him and was going down, I guess jayden did something funny cause dj laughed (Trying not to and made even more of a noise) and woke him up! lol. butthead!
So we went for a walk. =) We finally met our across the street neighbors, Jason & Katie(that now have a for rent sign in their front yard), they have a 5mo old girl, I didn't catch her name. We talked for a few, very nice couple and was disappointed that they were leaving. Jason's job is moving them to Michigan next week! He's a pediatrican in residency and she's a pediatric nurse. haha. They we're really nice and I wish they were staying.....made me think that Dj and I should find more couples with babies to hang out with....we have no couple friends....just "his and hers", which is fine, it would just be nice to have a common "interest" =)
I'm debating whether to open up the house or not...it's been so warm but I think it's cooled off now.... man I hate summer. =( I'm not a fan of the heat. Spring and fall are my FAV.
Should I...or should I not go to bed...not too tired. Wish our computer worked better (it's slow cause it recognizes that we don't have genuine windows 7 so its so slooooow), I could try and fix my pics. It's too much of a hassle trying to save my pics from facebook to my work laptop and then reposting them on the blog. ah well.
Tomorrow is Thursday, yipee.......fast week!
Sunday i'm going out with an old friend to lunch and a movie,.we're going to see Sex in the City 2, despite what reviews i've heard about it I still wanna see it. =) It will be Dj's first time alone with Jayden (for more than 30 min like a trip to the store). He's ready. =)......I think...haha jk
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