So last night I got into an argument with Dj because I was trying to explain to him how much is on my plate and why I am so stressed out giving him reason to my Doctor wanting to take me off work so early. As we were talking it started to get heated, mind you I am driving and Jayden is with us so I'm not trying to argue in front of him. Dj starts to get frustrated and states he doesn't understand and he doesn't know what I want him to do about his long hours at work etc. I calmly told him I've never once complained, asked you to do something about it nor have I ever ever blamed you. All I was simply trying to say was that I HAVE A LOT GOING ON. I'm thinking, how hard is this to comprehend? Really? Instead, he makes the comment "you are really starting to irritate me" .........are you freaking kidding me??? You really tell your already emotional pregnant wife that I'm getting on your nerves?? My blood instantly boiled, but I didn't react and I didn't respond. Not a single word. Probably because all my efforts were focusing on NOT crying and parking the car (we were going to subway). So I shut down. I was so hurt that he said that to me AND that it felt like it was all about him!! I am not the one to be high maintenance, nor ask for a lot, I'm pretty self sufficient and independent. So the LITTLE support and understanding that I was seeking was/is no where to be found.
I had plans to go to Julianna's and help her with her campaign project. There were handful of people going, whom I've never met. She was rewarding our efforts of helping her with pizza and wine. I figured it would be a good escape after the day I had yesterday so I pulled up the driveway, opened the garage and waited for Dj to get out and grab Jayden and I took off. I made it all the way to Jst before I read his text about " I work 10-12hr days I come home and shower, feed Jayden, lay him down and by then it's time to go to bed. What am I supposed to do?" Which made me instantly cry. First of all, that's NOT true. He's not home until maybe an hr before Jayden's bedtime. Everything is DONE by the time he gets home. Second, Jayden goes to bed at 7, are you telling me there is no time left to visit with your wife?? I only responded with "I guess your pregnant wife doesn't fit in your daily schedule. " I almost didn't make it to Julianna's because I couldn't refrain from crying. I thankfully was able to suck it up and go in. I checked my phone maybe an hour after I got there seeing I had 2 texts one stating "hello this isn't over" which did not sit with me well. Leave me alone. So when I came home at 830, yes, I was still upset and had nothing to say to him. I went to bed with out speaking to him. Told him to just leave me alone.
So today. I have not heard from him all day. Usually I get a 730am good morning call. Nope. A few calls through out the day. Nope. I come home early from work being exhausted I wanted to take a nap before I had to go get Jayden. I didn't know he was home, he was in the shower when I got home. I didn't acknowledge him I just went to lay down. Attempting to get some rest. I don't think he realized I was home at first. Then he finally realized it, and I think he was trying to be nice and clean up. I heard the vacuum and the load of laundry being started. I thought that's nice, but why on the one day I come home and want it to be quiet you're going to be nice and clean and be LOUD. He walked into our room 3x in 30min as I was trying to sleep, that was AFTER he shut the door loudly 2x. I asked him what he was doing and he ignored me. So finally I got up and locked the door and turned on the fan. Needless to say I was not able to sleep. I got up once I heard Jayden screaming in the kitchen, Dj had picked him up and was feeding him dinner. He still wasn't talking to me nor even looking in my direction so I just sat there. Played with Jayden, went to my room. I tried talking to him and he tells me "I have nothing to say to you" So I picked up my purse put on my shoes and left. Where am I going to go? I have no friends. I have a husband that is giving me the silent treatment WHEN I'm the one who was originally upset!!
I tried going to the pharmacy to pick up my rx but there was a line and it wasn't moving. I tried going to get a pedicure but there was a gas leak smell and I knew if I stayed it would bother me, yet alone be healthy for me to breathe! So I left. I ended up at my parents. Ate dinner, went to yogurt with my parents and came home. Dj walked in the living room and still hasn't said a word to me. It's now been over 24hrs since we spoke to each other.
"This is horse shit!"
Like I need this right now.
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